Tag: borderline personality disorder

When God Stopped Making Sense.

Photo is the cover of the Japanese version of the novel “VALIS” by Phillip K Dick, which are the quotes referenced in the blog below. “Perhaps this is the bottom line to mental illness: incomprehensible events occur; your life becomes a bin for hoax-like fluctuations of what used to be reality. And not only that […]

The Pain of Existence.

I sit here today with a cold empty nothingness that once held someone important. I think to myself, Why? Why is living so goddamn hard? Why is pain so inevitable? Where is the padded room for my tender loving soul? Why is life a box of broken glass and why do I keep reaching into […]

Nihilism is not for me.

When I stopped believing in the Christian God I felt a hole in my life, honestly. Religion was a huge part of my identity, most of it. and suddenly I had ripped away my covering from the reality of the world. Religion was my clothes and my protection. I watched this series of talks between […]

The joy of the Lord is my crutch.

Religion was a huge part of my childhood. I was baptized at eight, we were weekly church attenders for most of my life, and from the ages of sixteen until I was nineteen, I’d say I practically ate, breathed, and slept religion after “getting saved” and wanting to work in ministry. I took my faith […]

And God Said, “Don’t Talk About It”

This is a blog. This is not a diary. This is a stained glass view into the life and mind of a person who is bipolar. There is a book I want to recommend to anyone struggling to understand me called, “An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness” by Kat Redfiled Jamison. Its […]