Tag: mental illness

When God Stopped Making Sense.

Photo is the cover of the Japanese version of the novel “VALIS” by Phillip K Dick, which are the quotes referenced in the blog below. “Perhaps this is the bottom line to mental illness: incomprehensible events occur; your life becomes a bin for hoax-like fluctuations of what used to be reality. And not only that […]

I have no idea what I’m doing.

painting by: Isabel Emrich I’m not a perfect parent. I was 20 years old when I had my first, I have only just begun to heal myself and the things that have happened to me in my life, and I’m daily navigating a mental illness. I fail a LOT. I make so many mistakes with […]

The LOVE Connection.

I had a dream. I don’t have a lot of dreams but it always seems when I do they mean something to me. Shrouded in cryptic messages from the subconscious (even though I know this isn’t really how dreams work). The other day my dream was something like this… I have extension cords coming out […]

Love Yourself, Celebrate Your Successes!

When is the last time you celebrated yourself? When was the last time you gave a self-high-five for a job well done? When was the last time you sat back and reflected on all the hard work you have done? I’ll tell you the last time I did… never. Today though, today I feel like […]

NEW MOON INTENTIONS: Aligned with Purpose.

HAPPY FEBRUARY and happy new moon, my friends. This New Moon has already blasted me with tons of inspiration, which is exciting for me and simultaneously completely intimidating. I have the good ideas, but do I have the will and focus and determination to bring those ideas to reality? Somehow this New Moon seems to […]

I was a victim of narcissistic abuse.

When I was 15, I attempted to drown myself in my bathtub. I envisioned myself slipping down the drain into a prison of shit. This is where I belong, this is what I deserve. The ripples from under the surface of the water, distorted the lights above me, but they clearly continued to spread throughout […]

2018: C’est la vie

2018- C’est la vie. This year I grew up. I bought a house, faced a possible divorce, and birthed a dream. This year I dug into my past, learned a lot of science and denounced the Christian god. I made a lot of new friends, had a lot of great conversations and I was added […]

The Hard Years of Marraige.

Today, my husband and I celebrate 4 years of marriage. This was our first official year of homeownership, and we celebrated 7 years of being in love this summer. All the dangerous years of marriage wrapped up into the perfect storm. Coming into our marriage, neither of us really knew what we were doing. My […]

Bitter & Spicy.

I didn’t hate myself until the first time I had my heart broken. I was very young, and I fell in love with a boy who was also very young. He preferred a certain flavor of women, and I was not that flavor, though I attempted to adjust myself accordingly. When the time came and […]

The Pain of Existence.

I sit here today with a cold empty nothingness that once held someone important. I think to myself, Why? Why is living so goddamn hard? Why is pain so inevitable? Where is the padded room for my tender loving soul? Why is life a box of broken glass and why do I keep reaching into […]