Tag: mothering

The Pain of Existence.

I sit here today with a cold empty nothingness that once held someone important. I think to myself, Why? Why is living so goddamn hard? Why is pain so inevitable? Where is the padded room for my tender loving soul? Why is life a box of broken glass and why do I keep reaching into […]

Don’t Live Anywhere But The Present.

I’m a classic over-thinker. Nightly, I revisit conversations that went poorly, times I didn’t speak up, moments I was too scared to act. I comb through my past relationships searching for the lessons in my pain. I obsess over the lies I was told and how I learned the truth. I’m naturally obsessive so residing […]

The joy of the Lord is my crutch.

Religion was a huge part of my childhood. I was baptized at eight, we were weekly church attenders for most of my life, and from the ages of sixteen until I was nineteen, I’d say I practically ate, breathed, and slept religion after “getting saved” and wanting to work in ministry. I took my faith […]

On Depression and Motherhood.

I wrote this a while ago, as I was dealing with a heavy wave of depression. I don’t think I have opened up this vulnerably about what its like to be a mother and regularly deal with waves of depression, the second half of my bipolar disorder, however, this feels important to share.   It […]